Little things

Hello lovelies (or no one. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this haha),

I had a harsh reality check today. I just worked out that I don't have enough money to pay my next rent installment, let alone my groceries and power when I get back home. I am so so so lucky that I have wonderful parents who are willing to help me out. However, this means that for a few weeks I will have absolutely no spending money.

No coffee, no random buys...I'm shocked at how difficult this seems to me. It goes to show how comfortable I am in my life - how completely, utterly blessed I am, and how often I fail to realise that.

So, that said, a lot of good will come from this. I'm going to learn to appreciate the little, wonderful things in life that money can't buy. Money can't buy you happiness - this is a cliche, but it's true!

The sunlight fanning through the trees, beautiful forests, fresh air, sunrises, laughter, kisses, hugs, sweet words to warm your heart, a text from a friend, working out and eating healthy, a beautiful photograph, time with family, the ocean...there is so much more to live for.

I am so completely blessed♥

Put your hearts up

I have always read in a lot of books, blogs, etc. that your thoughts define your reality. Like, if you think positive, beautiful thoughts about yourself and others, your life will begin to change, too. I always accepted that as a given. I mean, it makes sense. But I never really thought about putting it into practice.

The past couple of weeks, I have really made an effort to be much more positive. Not getting annoyed easily, smiling a lot more, and making the best of the beautiful life I have been blessed with. And I can honestly say, it has worked. I honestly feel so much more love around me and in my heart :) It's a truly wonderful feeling!

And this afternoon, as I was listening to Ariana Grande (love her music!) I really started thinking more about positivity. Her music and her message is all about love - loving and accepting others and yourself, and just being a beacon of positivity and happiness :)

This gets me onto my next thought...I am a Christian. A Catholic, to be exact. At university, I have made a lot of new friends, and the majority of them are non-denominational Christians. I love them to bits, but there is one thing we often don't agree on - and that is our beliefs about heaven. They believe that giving your life to Jesus is the only way to get to heaven. And I won't insult that belief, because that is what they believe and I accept that.

By contrast, I have always believed that if you are a wonderful person, living by Christian values, you are ultimately connected to God - because God is love, and you are showing love. However, because I spend so much time with my Christian friends, I have adopted a mindset of judgement that I really don't like. For example, I will see a person who is not Christian, and my mind will automatically think "ooh dear that person has got it wrong." I hate how my thoughts reflect a mindset of superiority.

I want to get rid of this mindset. I want to focus on spreading the love to those who need it, to light up people's days :) I want to stop judging people in my head. Of course I will remain firm in my Catholic beliefs, but I honestly believe if I have a more open, positive mind, I can improve my own life, and that of others :)

"If we give a little love maybe we can change the world"
- Ariana Grande

Pics via weheartit♥

I built my own kingdom in your eyes...now I'm homesick

"Are you even listening when I talk to you
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me
Do you even know how much it hurt?
When you gave up on me to be with her...
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were"
The Veronicas

My little kingdom is tumbling down...clouding over. My prince has found another princess and it hurts hurts hurts. Please forgive my little patch of quiet♥
xx

He's an angel now...

sad sad sad. Life isn't the most fun at the moment. The entire school is grieving - we lost a precious member of our school to a car crash. A classmate of my own. You never know when God is going to decide to give you wings, so you can fly away. I never got to know J - I won't pretend I was his best friend. Or even a good friend. But I knew him, he touched my life just by being there. And seeing his friends grieve like that breaks my heart. Rest in peace, J. You're an angel now♥
xxx

Me and my guitar♥ I'm not the greatest player yet...but strumming those strings is strangely addcitive and sends splendid shivers down my spine. lovelovelove
all photos are by me, please tag my blog if you are going to use them :)
xx

sorry

Dearest followers,
I am at a very strange place in life at the moment, I'm not sure how to write, how to be or who my friends really are. All I know is I'm in love.
More posts later
Love always,
Courtney♥

My name

Courtney Jane

In English, my name means scattered. In French it means infinite thoughts. It is clear and blue, like the sky, until the grey clouds find it. It means sensitivity. Sometimes it is like teardrops. It is like a blank canvas, full of possibilities. It means the twang of acoustic guitar strings. It is the song that played and played when he was gone, and the song that rang in my ears when he came back again♥

Picture: www.weheartit.com

the light in my room makes patterns on my wall. i feel i am underwater, and i want to capture my sea adventures♥

thinking space

Sometimes it seems like rekindled love doesn't give my writing hand the same spark that it has with a broken heart♥

he image above is my own photograph

Start running

Me and my life of the moment. I just want to be me

I'm putting my foot down
Not getting pushed around
They should be ashamed of all the junk they fed to us
And are you having fun
Shaking hands and pleasing everyone?
We're on a diet of manufactured fruit loops and bubblegum

They try to get into your heads
But in the end, you're only as good as
The next worst thing that's coming
Everybody should start running
When we gonna back out
Anybody know how
When we gonna back out
Back to being real now

It's monkey see, monkey do
Simon says play along but I don't want to
Who is he to tell me what to think and what to do?

It's always greed, greed, greed
How many Benjamins do you really need?
Don't want a puppet master pulling on my strings

They try to get into your heads
But in the end, you're only as good as
The next worst thing that's coming
Everybody should start running
When we gonna back out
Anybody know how
When we gonna back out
Back to being real now

What are we living for?
What are we longing for?
What are we waiting for?
I think you know, lets go

They try to get into your heads
But in the end, you're only as good as
The next worst thing that's coming
Everybody should start running

They try to get into your heads
But in the end, you're only as good as
The next worst thing that's coming
Everybody should start running
When we gonna back out
Anybody know how
When we gonna back out
Back to being real now

Lyrics from "The Next Worst Thing" by 78Violet
Pictures www.weheartit.com

xx
♥

adventures of a fairy

Sometimes my little fairy princess gets so tired of sitting on my shelf all day. So she flies away to sit down somewhere else, with a more interesting view. Often I have to lead her back with a trail of biscuit crumbs to her tiny place on my shelf. The little places I find her in are sometimes rather peculiar, but she does look very sweet in her little hiding places, so I couldn't resist following her and take some pictures♥
xx

all photos taken by me

♥

I have writers block. In the meantime, laugh with me at this picture from weheartit.com It brings back so many childhood memories. How I love disney ♥

☮

xx

Here I am to worship

Light of the world

You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore You

Hope of a life spent with You

Here I am to worship

Here I am to bow down

Here I am to say that you're my God

You're altogether lovely

Altogether worthy

Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days

Oh so highly exhalted

Glorious in heaven above

Humbly You came to the earth You created

All for love's sake became poor

I'll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

♥

Lyrics "Here I am to Worship" performed by various aritists

Pictures www.weheartit.com

give and give and give

give give give. on http://www.thehungersite.com/ you can donate a cup of food to the hungry everyday just by clicking:) completely free and you will help a tiny child who is more hungry than you can ever imagine youself to be.☮

a movie to remember

I have mentioned this movie before, but honestly, I have to mention it again. A Walk To Remember is the most touching and amazing romantic movie I have ever seen - it fast became my favourite! My favourite book too. These pictures have quotations from the movie that really inspired me and made me smile, laugh or cry. Enjoy, and please watch♥

Courtney

xo

lost in a moment

when school work piles up, and life becomes a big blur, i will sit and draw a star, a moon, a heart, and smile. because in the midst of everyone's stress and fear, life really is so beautiful. you just need to take a moment to realise it. ♥

Courtney☮

pictures:

www.weheartit.com

thankyou

id just love to say a little thankyou to all my 21 followers (!) and anyone else who happens to read my little blog :) it has come so far since the days when i raved about twilight tshirts and the like...so just another thankyou. and also, please only post appropriate comments i've had some not-so-nice comments recently and it is quite hurtful :( thankyou everyone! ♥
xx

life is....a bit a of a whirl recently. losses and gains, photos and tears. my darling kitty cat always makes me laugh though, in the hardest times. i am so busy busy at the moment, so please forgive for not blogging so often. today was a tough day - neverending pages of homeowork, then my messy room to clean after a whole week of sadness, sitting and not knowing. never knowing

♥

xx

photo www.weheartit.com

school time

Whenever someone asks me if I'm looking forward to school, I have no idea what to say. Part of me is longing to get back into a routine, see all my friends, do new subjects (drama, classical studies and social studies), and new classes. But the other is yearning to stay sleeping in under my lavender sheets, to stay slowed down, and never have to speed up again. I want to stay in a world of sun, beaches, icecream, fun, long car trips and travels and endless free time. Only having to think when I'm writing or reading - my loves. I can only be optimistic♥

Courtney

xxx

Licorice

A new kitten for my family and I. Licorice is his name, because of his fur. He is lots of fun to play with, and loves to run around after wool, balls, and curl up on cushions and have a little catnap. He is very gentle♥

Courtney

xx